As I got into the car I immediately opened the windows and unlocked my phone to send a message, "Hey omw now. *sigh* I grabbed my wallet and keys, paused in the hallway then pushed myself forward to leave the house. Today I just finished knitting my shoes and wondered why I texted him to check on him, and then agreed to movie marathon with him. He checked his pockets for everything then saw himself out./ Four days ago that is what happened. I don't want you doing this just to make me happy." She removed herself from his personal space and turned her back on him. Just as he moved in for the kiss she pushed him away. As he retracted from the hug he moved his cheek closer to hers where his lips brushed the corner of her mouth. Tightly he squeezed her and kissed her on the temple. Flustered, her body relaxed and he pulled her into a hug. Still angry and now confused, she scowled at him until he uttered, 'I'm sorry' in a low yet sincere tone. His hand caught her along the jawline, stopping her instantly. Further agitation ripped through her as she took a step back. He leveled his gaze on those darkened pupils, he simply stared at her. "I know I sound crazy but why can't you make up your mind about me and stick with it? STOP being inconsistent with me!" Her anger and tension boiled over through her eyes. I've always been sincere." A brief pause overwhelmed her before she shoved him into the wall behind him. Frustrated she turned to reenter her bedroom, "I don't know what to tell ya." At his monotone she flipped back around, "You never do! For ten years I've dealt with you, been by your side, tried to show you I care by showing interest in your hobbies and life. From day one I could feel your potential but your hesitancy made me suspicious I should have never tried forming any relationship with you but that hope and faith I had for you is what made me hold on." Quietly he stared at her with a blank expression. Yes I've been persistent and clingy but I saw something in you, something positive. Scowling he remarked, "I didn't realize I was doing all that." "Excuse me!" She jerked her hand out of his, "How would you not know?! I've declared my love to you several times and you've shot me down with flat and flimsy reasons. The lack of initiative, the evasive and unresponsiveness to anything concerning them, and his weak excuses for everything. Head hung, however, her hand tightly and firmly gripped his she asked that looming question: "Why have you treated me like shit all these years?" He turned to face her, "What are you talking about?" Befuddled she stared at him momentarily before explaining her stance. He didn't pull away but barely looked over his shoulder at her. Her hand grabbed his, she called out his nam both to make him stop. Despite the upbeat hip-hop from my computer while I finished dressing, my memories wandered back to the other evening. Foreboding enveloped me, reluctance of the evening, and doubt he would keep his word. But on this day-four evenings later- I was supposed to pick him up from work and bring him back to my house. Why wouldn't he date me? Why haven't we tried friends with benefits yet? Why has he manipulated and used me for ten years? There was always a why and never a solid answer only flimsy responses with changing facades. The unanswerable, boding, irritating question word between us for years. Four days ago, I slammed him against the wall pinning him, demanding why.
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